Learn through my mistakes! Creating A Battle-the fight to write one!

(Punctuation hasn’t been sorted)

The hardest bit of writing I have ever done. How do you create a scene with so many people doing so many things at once-it was tough! As a New Writer I settled for just creating the flavour of a battle through the eyes of others.

How do you get all that separate action into one scene, you can’t make it too bland, and to describe every bit of the action would be beyond tedious!

I gave it a go-I have added a few examples!

From out of the trees they came Panthers, Wolves, Pixies and Dryads, half Elves on horseback, there were humans too. I saw Roy take out one of Stone Hearts Lieutenants with an Iron doorstop tied to a piece of washing line.

Of course it was Iron, they all hate it. Now I know why dad won’t have any in the house. I had once dragged that old iron doorstop all the way back from the States for him. It was shaped like an oak tree and I thought he would love it. He tried hard to look delighted, but it was obvious that he wanted to run away screaming.

Now I think about it, I don’t think he or Marc ever touched it. I might as well have given him a dead Rat. He smiled politely and left it by the chair still half wrapped.

It disappeared pretty quickly after that, I have a strong suspicion that Roy, the only full human in the bunch, was tasked with disposing of it. It did give your fingers a bit of a tingly feeling when you touched it. I assumed that was rust remover and washed my hands!

The battle was scrappy and downright dirty, no holds barred. I caught sight of my father once or twice, for a man well over 1000 years old he was quite a mover with a sword. All the elves were athletic, their side and ours. Boy could they could jump and spin and roll, if I hadn’t been so busy It would have been a privilege to watch them.

I was frantic, stab wounds and vicious cuts mainly, I did what I could with what I had to hand, luckily my medical bag is always in the car, campsites are full of dangers.


There were casualties, theirs as well as ours. We were pretty even in number. I saw one of the giant Grass Hoppers from the band go down, he took a flying leap into the fray and landed on an upturned sword. Barry Kahn in his bear shape lost an eye but kept on fighting.

Marc was incredible, his dispatched many an Elf to Hades or wherever they went. The Pixies dropped hot rocks, and screeched in viciously with silver knives and a load of Iron musket balls that some genius had thought to bring up from the museum.

Molly and the Dryad girls fought like tigers, they were all experienced fighters, knives in their boots, and experts with a bow.

Dad was in the middle of it all, fighting his way to Stone Heart who had just hacked down Cheryl the Leopard. Marc was beside him, the two of them working in unison, with the ease of long practice.

I was dealing with the Pixie Ambassador at the time. He was a bit of a mess, one of his wings was torn and he was bleeding heavily from a cut on his leg, but he was watching too.

Beautiful isn’t he he said, incredibly athletic don’t you think.

Yes, he keeps in shape I said, raising an eyebrow to the newest member of dads fan club.

Look at them covering for each other, if I should ever have a friendship like that I would be a lucky Pixie.

Been looking out for each other all their lives I said, stitching the wing into what I thought was the correct position, I was learning fast.

Oh of course they have, sorry, I’m a little dizzy. You are very like your father, lucky you.

I finished up, all done I said,

Then he passed out, I made sure he couldn’t choke then I left him, others were calling and there wasn’t much else I could do for him, especially as I had no idea how a Pixies insides worked!

It lasted until the sun was pretty high in the sky, nobody seemed to be winning. To say that the Elves were vicious was a gross understatement, so our side had to do the same. There were no prisoners…

My father was on him, sword flashing as he tried to get a grip.

I heard him say, come on now Erik let’s finish it

The Elf snarled, Ok Jonny just you and me.

They went for each other and the others held back, everyone knew this was dads fight. Even Marc kept out of it. There was a clash of swords, both of them were world class fencers. At one point dad lost his weapon and Marc threw him another one, which he caught with one hand and carried on fighting.

It was obviously going the distance, neither of them would give in. Back and forth they parried and thrust. Stone Heart seizing every opportunity to beat dad with the flat of his sword. Dad was black and blue but still he kept going, fuelled by almost 40 years of pent up rage.

Then they were on the ruins, the sword play was incredibly skillful. Both of them were beautiful to watch, and it seemed to last for ages. Small slides of broken rock fell down as they scrambled over the ancient stones

The rocks were always slippery and suddenly Dad was down, Stone Heart’s blade at his throat.

The plain fell silent, loser leaves the field eh Jonny, Stone Heart snarled

No old men or Knights to protect you now, even the Bear and the Pixie are finished.

He was a gloater after all, but he was right!


Character Development-One For The Girls!

Learning to develop female characters was fun. All my female characters are strong. Even the baddies are kick ass smart women! This is the unedited version-usual apologies for the lack of punctuation etc! Jody is young, she has a broken ankle and she has absolutely no idea of what is going on, but she comes out fighting!

Jody woke up with a start as a cold gust of air swirled around her, she saw Jon move protectively in front of her, it was back, at least the rock door was opening.

It crawled in and the door swung shut. A moment  later the saucer eyes adjusted then it saw them.

Jon stood up and faced the creature, he was a tall man and the cave wasn’t high.

Jody tugged at his leg, don’t piss it off she hissed, what she was actually thinking was oh great a heroic pensioner,

You gonna throw your bus pass at it she said!

He shook his head, don’t worry I’m an awful lot fitter than I look Jody. He stared it down but it came nearer along the passage toward them.

Take one more step I’m warning you he said firmly

Oh how very polite and British, write to the Times why don’t you, or you could just twat it with something heavy.

Your suggestion being, he said sarcastically, please leave this to me.

It started to growl, showing large white teeth as it came nearer

Right pal, wanna play fetch doggie, he moved his arm and a fireball zoomed across the cave hitting the far wall.

The creature stopped, it looked vaguely surprised and it sat down.

Good boy, now we’re getting somewhere.

A shower of earth from above distracted him for a moment, it was his turn to be surprised.

I think I have this all wrong he said looking up, it’s not growling at us Jody, there’s something else out there.

The hulking creature made a noise, something that sounded rather a lot like yes!

You want us to keep quiet until it goes he whispered

The creature nodded.

They all held their breath as the snuffling continued. The longest minute of their collective lives until finally silence.

Jody sat up, Professor what the fuck just happened

I think we’re safe for the moment.

If I can interrupt the polite small talk would you mind telling me what the frig is going on Professor Doolittle, is it gonna eat us or not.

No it’s not going to eat us, in fact I think he brought both of us here to keep us safe.

Lovely, let’s all have tea shall we, next Tuesday do you Prof! We could be mates on Facebook, remind me I must look up the big scary dogs with fucking huge teeth page if I get out of here alive.

Calm down, It’s ok it really is, he won’t hurt us.

The creature lay down and closed its eyes.

He’s been working really hard out there keeping your butt from being Winalot Jody, so cut him some slack ok. I would say he’s our best chance of getting out of here alive.


Villains 2 -starting the action.

I thought I would let my villain work up to his full potential. It was such fun writing him, I didn’t want to stop!

Marc led Tony into the ruins.

We just pull this out he said, it’s a sort of spiral into the earth and then a cave. I’ll stay here you go and do what you need to do.

A voice behind them said, I think that’s my job Marc.

A slim figure in a trilby hat and a raincoat stepped out of the shadows and into the light of the lamp. He was amazingly blonde and incredibly good looking.

Marc just stared, oh brilliant, just what we need, how the fuck did you get here Gala!

The man smiled, it was perfect. Oh I followed you and carried on when you stopped for coffee. It was easy. I just stood inside the ruins and waited. You are looking old, have you been ill or is a lifetime of extreme depravity catching up with you at last.

Marc coughed, spot of heart trouble if you must know, it’s sorted now. I see you haven’t changed much, still gorgeous. It must be all that purity keeping you young.

He sighed, It’s a wonder you don’t drop dead from boredom. Give me depravity every time, 2000 years of virginity must be fucking tedious.

The man tutted disapprovingly, I see your language hasn’t improved with time Marc. Perhaps a little more holiness and a rest from all that fornication might do you a power of good!

Marc rolled his eyes, oh don’t come the old moral high ground bit with me Mother Theresa, some of us live in the real world.

His perfect nose wrinkled in distaste, Mother Theresa a stranger to moisturiser that one, she had a face like the last apple in the bowl, what a revolting thought eugh!

Hit a nerve did it oh perfect one. I would imagine that your own beauty routine must be fairly extensive, he said somewhat sarcastically.

It’s never been a problem for me he said, but I will admit that one’s personal grooming has become a little more extensive as the years pass. Why only last week I thought I had found a wrinkle. Naturally I was extremely distressed, he smiled, it turned out to be an eyelash, but it was a nasty moment!

I’ll bet, still it gave you more time with the mirror, always a favourite pal of yours I seem to remember.

Tony coughed, hello, I hate to interrupt your little reunion. I know I’m small, but you both seem to have overlooked the fact that I am actually here!

Marc stopped, sorry Tone, got carried away with his holiness here, he tends to dominate your thoughts!

The beautiful Elf looked down with eyes so blue that you found yourself getting lost in them. He smiled benevolently, like he had just discovered a new species of insect.

And who do we have here then, a Pixie no less, how charming. He extended a hand, and Tony took it in his chubby little paw.

He looked up at Marc and read his thoughts, the words complete twat floated into his head, as if he hadn’t already worked that one out for himself!

So what are you doing here little man, the Elf continued. This is a rather dangerous place for a Pixie to go exploring, haven’t you got a mushroom you should be sitting under. I’m sure there’s a fishing rod missing an owner somewhere, he said with a wink!

That’s Gnomes Tony said, and if you don’t stop patronising me, I will show you exactly where you can shove your fishing rod, followed by the mushroom-sideways!

Oh how funny, he’s a feisty little fella isn’t he, he said to Marc, directly over the Pixies head!

The big man sighed, realising that Tone was about to lose the diplomacy and go full Pixie on him. He’d seen Bernie lose it a few times and it wasn’t pretty, about as pretty as Gala would be after Tony nutted him!

Right he said quickly, some introductions I think. Gala this is his Excellency Anatatontinuanous Anacharatidides, for obvious reasons we call him Tony. He’s the Pixie Ambassador and an essential part of our team, so play nice!

Tony, this is Hugh’s son, he calls himself Guy Lakeman these days, but we call him Gala, you might know him better as Sir Galahad du Lac the keeper of the Grail!

They both stared as if they couldn’t quite believe the other one existed!

Finally Gala said, a Pixie in the team, oh what a novelty, I suppose we must all embrace diversity in these enlightened times!

Do you have a problem with that Tony said, eyeing Gala’s perfect jaw for the precise point at which he could nut it for maximum effect!

Right then let’s get on shall we, Marc said quickly, Gala why are you here!

The Grail called me, you know I keep away and out of any possible influence. It feels threatened so it yelled for daddy! Now where are the rest of the guys, and where’s my dad, we’re not going to get very far without him. I do hope he isn’t drunk under a hedge somewhere, it’s such an embarassment when he does that!

A voice from the stairs said quietly, he’s dead Gala, your father is dead. Tony is the keeper of the vault now!

Molly walked down into the lamplight.

I was wondering what was happening, you have been ages and Jon is getting cold. She looked at Gala

I should have guessed that you would turn up, it’s been quite a while.

He smiled and bowed, My Lady Mirandior thou dost become more lovely with every passing year.

You can stop the old flannel she said, we’re both a bit long in the tooth to play that game, and it won’t wash with me, it never did!

So harsh, I see your years with the Pixie have done nothing to soften your tongue milady. How is Bernie, still cheating on you with anything that has a pulse is he, Gala said nastily.

I doubt it, seeing as he stopped having one himself five years ago, she said taking Marc’s hand.

One perfect eyebrow went up.

Good God, not you two. That’s hilarious. Do you buy your punishments wholesale Mirandior. Surely you don’t think this overheated Ox will stop his rutting with anyone or anything who offers him a roll in the hay, just for you. I have heard tell some women like it that way but…

Marc smiled sweetly, and what would you know about it Mr Purity he said. You wouldn’t know a roll in the hay from a roll in the mud, or maybe you just like to watch, is that how you like your cookies Gala, on someone else’s plate?

Gala stared, I do not concern myself with earthly pleasures you know that & may I remind you Marc that I was chosen for this task and I was carrying out my duties a full 500 years before you were born, so a little respect would be nice. I remember you as a snot nosed brat hiding behind your mothers skirts, so don’t get above yourself or there will be consequences!

Ooh Is that a threat, careful you might break a nail

Don’t push it, I’m warning you

Excuse me Tony broke in trying to be patient, I’m sure this is perfectly lovely but what I would really like is for all of you to sod off. Then I can change the lock and get Jon home and safe, out of the cold where I can look after him. If you have forgotten, he’s not well!

A soft voice from the stairs said, it’s ok Tone I’m here, could one of you give me a hand please.


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